The Coitus Investigation
by imdreamingoutloud
Summary: Amy is highly frustrated because Sheldon doesn't seem to want her in the same way she does. After Penny reveals this fact to Sheldon, he decides to get some more information about the coitus and all it's mysteries.
1. Chapter 1

Leonard sighed and dropped his fork back into the plastic bowl that was filled with delicious Chinese food. „All I'm saying is that we don't need to argue about this mummy and zombie thing anymore, Raj. It's not the same. Everyone agrees on that."

„Even I", mumbled Penny with her mouth full, nodding her head to underline the statement.

„They're both dead! They both bite people! And human beings are afraid of both species!" Raj looked around to see if someone would finally get his arguments but the only thing he raised was an annoyed look from Bernadette.

„Listen, my Indian friend" Howard began to explain with a high tension in his voise. „Mummies don't turn you into mummies when you get bitten. Zombies DO turn you into zombies though. What's so hard to understand about that?"

„Ssshh Howard. It's okay…" Bernadette patted her husband's back just before shooting another warning look into Raj's direction.

„But…"

The door opened and Sheldon and Amy came in.

„Hello friends! Ohhh Chinese food, very well!" Sheldon was unnaturally happy as he almost danced towards the kitchen counter to get something to eat.

Amy, on the other hand, looked like someone ran over her dog. She smashed the door, nodded into her friends' direction without a word, and followed her boyfriend.

„Something tells me that Sheldon screwed something up without realizing" Raj squinted his eyes as he whispered.

„No really" Leonard rolled his eyes and turned halfway. „Hey Sheldon! In such a good mood? What were you up to?"

„We were at the comic book store and I was the first and only one to get the new Green Lantern comic!" A huge smile appeared on Sheldon's face.

„Oh sweetheart, you're so excited!" Penny couldn't help smiling as well.

„Yeah, he almost peed his pants" Amy growled from the background.

Sudden silence laid over the room.

Raj decided to end it after a few minutes. „I want the new Green Lantern comic, too"

„Sorry, as I already mentioned, it was the first and only one. But there's the new Aquaman, as well."

„Aquaman sucks…"

„Well, I know someone else who does" Amy grumbled and shoved herself past Sheldon, before she headed for the door.

Everyone was too surprised to say anything, including Sheldon.

Penny sighed, put her plate on the couch table, and got up just to run after Amy, who had already reached the hallway.

As the door snapped shut it was quiet.

„Someone screwed up, eh?" Howard couldn't help grinning, which Bernadette found less funny than him. She boxed his elbow into his ribs. „OUCH! Oh Bernie, come on. Isn't it funny how little of a sense of empathy Sheldon has?"

„I don't know what is wrong with this woman!" Sheldon shook his head and still stared at the door, in his face a mix of confusion and anger. „She was like that since yesterday evening."

„Did you do anything that could have upset her…?" Leonard tried to help his friend.

„Of course not" Sheldon replied immediately. „Everything is determined perfectly in our Relationship Agreement. But now that you mention it I will go and see if I might have missed any point."

Sheldon wandered off and left his sighing friends back.

* * *

„Ames, come back. Come on…" Penny carefully placed an arm around her shoulders and put the other on her elbow, before she lead her best friend into her apartment.

After the door had closed, Amy started sobbing.

Penny's eyes widened. Amy didn't cry often… in fact she had never seen Amy cry ever before.

„He's so ignorant. He's such an end of the rectum…"

„An asshole" Penny nodded while she went over to her kitchen to get a bottle of wine. „What did he do this time?"

Amy tossed her bag onto Penny's sofa, before she walked over to the little kitchen and let herself fall on one of the bar chairs.

Penny poured wine in two glasses and shoved one over the table, right into Amy's direction. Amy emptied it in one sip.

„Woah", was Penny's comment on that. „So, sweety, tell me what's wrong"

„I am missing human contact"

„Uhm…"

„Physical contact"

„You mean…?"

„Intimate physical contact, Penny"

„Ohhhhh" Penny nodded. „You want Sheldon to lay you"

Amy lowered one eyebrow. „Not exactly what I would call it but if you want so, yes"

Penny took a sip of her wine and filled Amy's glass again. She knew she couldn't use the usual lines like ‚Well go help yourself to your boyfriend then' cause Sheldon was just… different.

On a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being highest interest in something and 0 the lowest, the interest in sex was a negative four for Sheldon. Penny was torn. Somehow Amy knew what she was going to be put through the second she agreed on being Sheldon's girlfriend, on the other hand Penny understood her too well. Not having physical needs satisfied could be a real drag.

„Maybe I'm just really not pretty enough" Amy muttered more to herself while she took another huge sip oft he alcoholic beverage.

„That's nonsense! You are pretty!" Penny reasured her best friend. „Sheldon is just… well" She tried to find the right words but could think of nothing better than just shrugging.

„Sheldon's what?"

„He is… special"

„What do you mean by that?"

„Oh come on, Amy"

„No, what do you mean?"

„That he'd rather learn every Wikipedia page on the internet by heart than even thinking about sex"

„Wanting to enlargen someone's knowledge is not something that makes you special in a bad way I think" Amy countered.

„I was not trying to offend Sheldon" Penny insisted immediately. „I was just trying to make clear that it's not about you. Sheldon just doesn't think about sex at all, no matter what."

„Yes" Amy's voice sounded differently all of a sudden and she looked like she just wandered into deep thoughts.

Then she arose from the chair. „I'll go home. I'm tired."

„You can sleep over if you want"

„No, it's alright. Go back to Leonard. I bet he misses you already."

„Are you sure, Ames?"

„Yeah…"

„Alright" Penny walked over to her best friend and gave her a tight hug. „Don't worry, everything's gonna be ok"

Amy nodded and left the apartment.

„…eventually" Penny added under her breath before she bit her lower lip and went back to the guys.

* * *

„Spaghettis with cut hotdogs" Sheldon grinned so broadly that his ears almost fell off. „Penny, what a grand surprise!"

Leonard tried once again to send a confused look towards Penny but she ignored him on purpose. He would find out what she was trying to achieve soon enough.

With a smile she served Sheldon strawberry milk – it was a blessing to have Amy as best and Leonard as boyfriend with background informations – and took a seat.

„So sweety, you're enjoying your dinner?"

Sheldon smiled again. „Very!"

„So" Penny was ready. Round one, FIGHT. „Sheldon. It occurred to me, that…"

„Occurred?" Sheldon looked up. „Did you eat alphabeth soup this morning?" He did his sniffy little laugh.

Leonard smiled by courtesy. So did Penny.

Then the smile fell off her face and she pierced Sheldon with an intense look. „Why don't you sleep with Amy?"

Leonard choked on his spaghettis and pounded his fist against his chest so he could catch his breath again.

Sheldon let his fork sink into his food and raised his eyebrows. „I doubt this is an adequate table talk topic"

He proceeded eating but this was not something that would stop Penny from pushing him to keep the topic alive. „Do you think she's ugly?"

As if it was the most logical thing in the world, Penny started eating, keeping her look on Sheldon. He dropped his fork into the plate for the second time.

Leonard snorted. He didn't expect that, when his girlfriend invited him and his best friend over for dinner, although it was kind of naive to think that nothing would happen after what had happened the day before.

„Amy Farrah Fowler is a good-looking woman" Sheldon said with some weird undertone in his voice.

„Then why doesn't she know about that?" Penny ignored, that Leonard kicked her under the table.

„She doesn't?" Sheldon asked weakly and it was as if you could hear his heart break in that very moment.

Penny felt bad all of a sudden. She really had caught Sheldon off guard, he_ really_ wasn't aware of how Amy felt.

„Uhm" She tried to find words that wouldn't make it sound as bad. „She isn't sure of what you feel for her sometimes. And lately she misses physical contact."

„Oh" Sheldon shook his head. „You must have misunderstood her. Just yesterday I held her hand when we walked up the stairs." He tingled some spaghettis on his fork and put them into his mouth.

„I was talking about sex, Sheldon"

For the second time in a short period Leonard choked on his food. „Penny!"

She looked at her boyfriend.

„This is a non-Sheldon topic!" Leonard hissed.

„Oh, no no" Sheldon insisted. „It is not. Actually I have read some very interesting studies about sexual intercourse."

„Oh really?" Leonard tried to cling to this last straw of hope that the topic would get off Amy and her weird relationship with his best friend.

But of course Penny wouldn't let this happen. „Sheldon, I'm afraid that if you don't get intimate with Amy anytime soon, she's gonna be fed up."

Sheldon looked back at Penny, then thought for a moment and then commented the statement with a quiet „Oh".

He put away his fork, moved his chair away from the table, picked up the napkin from his lap and stood up. „Well, that was a very nice dinner, Penny. Thank you a lot."

He turned around and headed towards her door. Leonard tried to hold him back by calling his name, but Sheldon went out the door and closed it behind him.

„Awesome, Penny" Leonard blurted, as he turned around racily. „You just HAD to bring that up, didn't you?"

His girlfriend stared at him in disbelief. „Yes, I brought it up and you know why? In case you didn't sense Amy's bad mood yesterday: It was because of Sheldon!"

„But it's their thing, Penny!" Leonard raised his shoulders just to let them fall in resignation a second later. „Stop trying to be their love doctor."

„Don't you want them to stay together?"

„Yes. And they will."

„Not if Sheldon doesn't realize he actually has a penis anytime soon!"

Leonard opened his mouth to reply something, closed it again though. There was no further argument on that. Penny was right and Leonard had been aware of it all the time: No woman was patient enough to wait for sex forever. Not even Amy Farrah Fowler.


	2. Chapter 2

Howard and Raj were sitting on the sofa, staring at Sheldon – who was by his desk – in awe. He hadn't moved away from his laptop for three hours straight now.

„Sheldon, what are you doing?" Howard raised an eyebrow.

„Research!", was Sheldon's vestigial answer.

Howard stood up and let himself fall onto Sheldon's place on the sofa. Usually when someone did that, Sheldon rushed around. He was too familiar with the sound his spot made when sitting down on it. But this time: no reaction.

Raj leaned back and started whistling the theme song of Shaft. Again: no reaction.

„What are you researching?" Howard squinted to possibly catch a look at the headline of the article Sheldon was studying.

„Sexual intercourse"

Raj and Howard shared another look of disbelief.

„What for?" Howard laughed out loud.

Now Sheldon turned around. „As a man from Texas it's my duty to make my girl happy. And if this means I have to bite the bullet and engage in coitus, then so I will!"

Raj nodded with a dirty smile on his face. „I could totally give you some helpful advice on that"

Sheldon faced him. „Aren't you a virgin?"

Raj's smile disappeared, while Howard giggled.

„You can take place in my studies" Sheldon offered.

„I don't need to study sex, I know how it works!" Raj countered huffily.

„Are you positive?" Sheldon turned around to his laptop again. „From what I've seen here, porn is mostly just made up, very unrealistic and middlingly off topic."

Raj's answer was swallowed by the sound oft he door opening. „Hi guys"

„Hello Penny" Howard got up and moved away from Sheldon's spot.

„Hey Sheldon" Penny walked up to her friend. „I just wanted to apologize for yesterday"

„What… oh, that? That was nothing. Look, I'm doing some research." Sheldon moved aside a little to give Penny a view on the article he was reading.

Penny's eyes widened, as she saw what Sheldon was reading. Then she smiled and planted a kiss on Sheldon's cheek. „You're cute."

„No, I'm enlargening my knowledge!" He replied, wiping over his cheek with the back of his hand.

Penny nodded and went over to the couchtable, before she let herself fall on the big chair. „When is Leonard gonna be back?"

„Should be here in a few minutes. He just went to get a new controller for the Xbox cause the other one…" Howard pinned Raj with an expressive look, „got destroyed."

„I didn't destroy it!" Raj retorted. „You just know that Grand Theft Auto always makes me nervous!"

Howard pursed his lips and nodded, the door opened, and Leonard walked in.

„So, I am back", he mumbled, taking a controlling look into the bag he had with him, before he glared up and spotted Penny. „Oh, hello"

Penny got up, walked towards Leonard, and welcomed him with a long kiss. „I have some surprise for you tonight"

„Oh, really?" Leonard smiled shily, while Howard rolled his eyes in the background.

„Yes. Victoria has a secret and it's in my dresser." Penny planted another soft kiss on Leonard's lips.

„Ohh", he purred.

Sheldon had heard every word. He had to listen to couples more actively than usual… or better to say… he actually had to listen to them at all.

He was usually perfect at blinding out conversations that seemed absurd or unimportant to him, but now it was completely of his interest.

„Well, it's late and we don't want to disturb. And I'm going to spend the evening with Bernadette and my mother tonight…" Howard got up and nodded towards Raj. „Come on, let's go"

Raj shrugged and got up before he waved everyone goodbye and left the apartment with Howard.

„So… Sheldon… uhm… we're gonna go to bed, ok?" Leonard was a bit out of concept cause Penny was already nibbling his earlobes.

„Rest well" Sheldon smiled and turned back to his laptop, while Leonard and Penny hurried into Leonard's bedroom.

* * *

„But you are the only Victoria in Penny's facebook friendslist and I am absolutely positive that she mentioned your name. So, for personal studies, it's really important for me to know what's your secret." Sheldon calmly explained.

He waited for a second, then stared at his phone confused. „Hello?"

As he realized the woman had hung up on him, he shrugged and put the phone back on the table. „Ah well, nothing to worry about. Google and Wikipedia will help me out! Even if not first hand…"

Sheldon buckled down behind his desk again. „The secret of Victoria", he mumbled, as the typed it into the Google search.

„Hm" Sheldon raised his eyebrows. „I doubt Penny can keep a pinterest account in her dresser"

He scrolled down and then it finally dawned onto him. Penny had been talking about lingery.

Not really sure if it was the right decision, Sheldon started to scroll and click through the official Victoria's Secret website and swallowed roughly as his thoughts wandered off to Amy wearing one of those negligees.

He shook that thought off and started taking meticulously precise notes of what he had just seen. Maybe that would give Amy some self esteem. Sheldon scrolled further down on the page and spotted a black negligee, that wouldn't let go of his attention. In an act of complete self-control loss he clicked on the little shopping cart and ordered it.

Just when he was done finishing the order, he sensed some muffled noises.

Sheldon took his clipboard, a pen and went through to corridor, till he was in front of Leonard's room.

It wasn't hard to tell that the moaning and the bumpy noises weren't the result of a back massage. Sheldon placed his hand on the doorknob, hesitated for a second, but then found that he had the right to just walk in. It was for his studies and it was important!

He quietly opened the door but all he could find was a moving lump of bedsheets. Nevertheless he wrote down notes: Excessive moaning. Moving a lot. Loud, hysteric screams…

Sheldon looked up and found Penny and Leonard staring at him.

„WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE" Leonard hissed in a way too high pitched voice.

„Well, I thought it would help my studies if…"

„Your studies? If you don't want your next study to be about how to remove a beside lamp from your rectum, I would leave now!" Penny grumbled angrily.

Sheldon found that pretty rude but he raised his hands in resignation and turned around to leave.

„If I can't get help from them, I will get help somewhere else"

He wandered back into the living room and grabbed his phone again, before he dialed.

„Yes… Howard, this is Sheldon… yes, I know how late it is, I am in possession of a clock. However. I just wanted to ask if you and Bernadette could help me with my studies about sexual intercourse. I'd need some living objects for… hello? Howard?"

Sheldon looked at his phone again and sighed. „How is it possible everyone's hanging up on me? I'm just a man, trying to build up his knowledge…"

He shook his head over so much misunderstanding and so little cooperation and opened his Skype. Amy was online. Sheldon clicked the little green phone icon and waited. No answer. He tried again. Amy finally answered, but she didn't look too happy. „Sheldon"

„Hello Amy. I just wanted to tell you that I've got a surprise for you. You may want to come over tomorrow evening, to receive it."

„A surprise?" Amy's voice and facial expression lit up a little. „That sounds promising. When shall I be there?"

„Is 8:00 okay?"

„Of course"

„Well, Amy Farrah Fowler. See you tomorrow then. I hope you sleep well."

„Thanks Sheldon. Good night."

„Good night."

* * *

Howard placed his tray on the usual table, Raj next to him. „However, Sheldon called me to ask if he could watch me and Bernadette having sex"

Raj shook his head while he opened his beverage can and took a huge sip. Leonard sighed deeply and looked around to make sure Sheldon wasn't there to hear him. „I think he's really gonna try it"

Howard nodded with a big grin on his face. „Poor Amy"

„Oh come on. Even bad sex is still sex.", was Raj's only comment on that before he started eating. He didn't realize how weirded out his friends looked at him.

„Gentleman" Sheldon's tray landed right next to Leonard's. He seemed unusually happy. „My studies are going great so far!"

„What is there to study about sex so much?" Raj pulled down both of his eyebrows and gave Sheldon a confused look.

„I was talking about my work here at University, but Rajesh, I must say… a very good question"

Leonard and Howard moaned in annoyance and Howard boxed Raj beneath the table.

„There is so much to coitus, I bet you guys didn't even know! Did you know that you can help a woman to a climax without actual penetration? And that there are three different types of climaxes for women?" Sheldon was so excited that it was painful for the others to not cheer like he made the greatest discovery of the century.

„You mean to tell me you didn't know you can give a woman an orgasm even if you _don't_ use your woowoo?" Howard tried to hold his grin back but it was harder than expected.

„Well…. Yes" Sheldon gave back as if it was the most normal thing in the world. „Did you? I bet it must be hard to build up sexual knowledge for a man who still calls his genitalia ‚woowoo'…"

Howard opened his mouth, took a deep breath, closed it again and then shook his head, before stuffing himself with food.

„So, how have your days been, Gentlemen?" Sheldon smiled all happily and started eating his lunch.

* * *

Sheldon had put a red ribbon around the package from Victoria's Secret that had arrived just a few hours before Amy was about to arrive.

„We are gonna leave now" Leonard came out of his room, followed by Penny.

„I don't understand why but if you feel like going to the cinema to waste your hard earned money on some badly made romance movie rubbish then feel free to do so!"

„You're gonna have some quality time with Amy" Penny giggled. „Aren't you excited?"

„Excited what for? Watching Star Wars with her or giving her a present or offering her tea…?"

Penny sighed and shook her head. „Just have fun, Sheldon"

„Why, thank you!" He was kind of confused by this. Fun? What was Penny's definition of fun?

Leonard took his jacket and opened the door, his girlfriend walked out and Leonard turned around again to Sheldon. „Make something out of it"

Then he left. Just before the door snapped shut, he could hear Leonard greeting Amy.

Sheldon rushed to the door, hiding the present behind his back.

„Hello Sheldon" Amy smiled, her eyes full of anticipation.

„Hello Amy", he replied, also smiling. „Why don't you come in and take a seat. May I offer you something to drink?"

„Some tea would be nice" Amy went into the living room and wanted to take a seat at her usual spot: the middle of the sofa.

But she heard some unagreeing noise from her boyfriend so she stopped.

„Why don't you sit here?" Sheldon pushed her to his spot with his free hand.

Amy's mouth hung open. Sheldon never let anyone sit in spot… _ever_. „But Sheldon, this is your…"

„Not for tonight. And before I start making your tea… here is your present. But don't open it yet. I want to see the gratefulness flaming up in your eyes when you do." He gave her one of his cheeky smiles, before he got up to prepare the tea.

Amy's fingers tingled. She was really curious about what was in that bag. But probably just something that Sheldon found awesome but already possessed so he bought it for her – only to be able to buy it again.

But it was a box and it was definitely too big for a comic book. Or an action figure.

Sheldon came back and placed the mugs on the coffee table before he took a seat on the chair, which clearly was one of the most unsettling things he had ever had to do.

Amy's eyes looked worried. „Is it really okay, Sheldon?"

„Sure", he answered while trying to hide the twitches his right eye started making.

„So, Sheldon…" Amy folded her hands. „Not that I'm not very grateful for your present but… to be honest, I wonder how I did deserve that."

„By being a great girlfriend", was Sheldon's prompt answer.

Amy couldn't hold back a big smile. „Can I open it?"

„Well, it's yours" To underline what he had just said Sheldon made a gesture towards the box.

His girlfriend took it and opened the ribbon before she carefully opened the box and glanced into it. As she realized what was inside her eyes widened. „Sheldon, that is…"

„I've seen Leonard buying something like that for Penny sometimes and even if I am not like an average person, I thought I could do something bourgeois and buy a nice piece of cloth for my girlfriend!"

Amy took the lingery out and stared at it in disbelief. „Did you choose that?"

„Well…" Sheldon seemed confused about the question. „Yes?!"

„I didn't know you like things like that"

„It's not something_ I_ would wear but it might look quite acceptable on you, Amy Farrah Fowler."

„Do you want me to try it on?"

„Sure, why not. Let's see if I chose the right size."

Amy blushed a little before she took the lingery and went to the bathroom to change. She seemed excited and nervous, as far as Sheldon could sense it, but he had no idea why. It was just something to put on. But that was probably a female thing. He also didn't understand why Penny needed 50 pairs of shoes when she only had one pair of feet.

Sheldon tried again to get comfortable on the chair but he couldn't. It was not _his_ spot. He glared at the bathroom door but there was no sign of Amy yet so he hopped up just to let himself pop down onto his spot a second later.

„Awwww yes", he groaned. „Daddy's back!"

As he noticed some rumbling in the bathroom, he got back onto the chair again quickly.

„Are you ready?" Amy screamed.

„What for?"

„Me coming out of the bathroom"

„I already noticed you are here and I didn't think you would spend the rest of your life in there so; yes!"

You could clearly hear a loud sigh behind the bathroom door, then Amy opened it and toddled into the living room.

Her face was almost bright red and she smiled at Sheldon shily. „So, do you like it?"

Sheldon eyed her from head to toe and back again, then he nodded. „Yes, it looks really good on you, Amy Farrah Fowler."

Amy blushed even more and then looked at Sheldon. He looked back at her. So what now? Every single second of silence made Amy even more nervous. Maybe the time had come now. Maybe she'd finally have coitus with the man of her dreams: Sheldon Lee Cooper.

„Ready for some Star Wars? I got the whole DVD pack today!" As a proof Sheldon held it up, smiling proudly.

Amy's smile fell off her face. „What?", she asked weakly.

„Come on. Sit down!" Sheldon nodded into the direction of the sofa and Amy sat down slowly. She looked like a little poodle someone had poured water all over, lost and sad.

Sheldon walked over to the DVD player and put in the first CD of Star Wars, before he let himself fall back in the chair and moved around nervously because it simply was _impossible_ to get even somewhat close to comfortable in this monster.

Amy sighed. So this was it, again. She was sitting here in this really beautiful negligee and all her boyfriend could think of was some sci fi stuff. But that was something you had to live with, when you were the girlfriend of Sheldon Cooper.

Amy moved back aside to the middle of the sofa and patted Sheldon's spot with her hand. „Hey, come over here."

„Are you sure?" Sheldon asked surprised. „You really can sit there. It's the best spot of all!"

„I know. Thank you." Amy still didn't move back though to signalize Sheldon he could sit there. So he got up and let himself fall back into his usual place. „Ohhhhhhhh yeah"

Amy couldn't help smiling. She glanced aside to see Sheldon and even if this whole evening didn't go as she had thought at first, she was happy to be close to him and spend his evening with him.

_To be continued..._


	3. Chapter 3

Sheldon was way too caught by Star Wars to realize, that Amy had gotten quite tired. Her eyes kept falling shut and she hardly could keep her head up.

She gazed at Sheldon. Then she sighed. No, she'd just curl up to the other side. She didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.

She put her legs on the sofa and put her head backwards, which was really uncomfortable, but better than nothing. She was too tired to look for a more comfortable position.

After a few minutes Sheldon turned around halfway. „Isn't that awesome, Amy?"

No answer.

„Amy?"

Sheldon turned aside to look at his girlfriend and realized she had fallen asleep. He kept looking at her for a few minutes, then he quietly got up to get a blanket from his room. He tossed it over Amy before carefully tucking her in. Then he sat back into his spot and looked at her again.

He sighed and pulled her a bit over. She grumbled and placed her head on Sheldon's shoulder. He laid an arm around her and slightly caressed her shoulder. „Oh Amy Farrah Fowler. My little vixen."

* * *

About half an hour later the movie was over and Sheldon turned off the TV. It was already midnight and he didn't want to wake Amy up to tell her to go home. So he hesitated for a second but then got up, placed Amy carefully in his arms and carried her over to his bedroom, before putting her into his bed softly and taking her glasses off.

Amy took a deep breath and swung around in bed just to sigh again and proceed sleeping.

Sheldon tiptoed to a chair in the room before gliding out of his pants and his shirt and place it on the chair. Then he sneaked back to his bedside and scrabbled under his blanket.

He wasn't even in a halfway comfortable sleeping position yet, as he felt Amy's whole arm placed across his chest.

„Oh boy", he sighed and rolled his eyes but it didn't disturb him as much as his reaction purported.

He looked at her again. The blanket had slipped down a little and granted him another look at the lingerie.

The tingling he felt when he looked at her like that was quite new for him but it wasn't something he would have described as unsettling. It was just… new.

And maybe sometimes _new_ wasn't even that bad.

„Sheldon" Amy mumbled suddenly.

As if she had caught him doing something forbidden, he took his eyes off immediately. „Uhm… yes?"

„How late is it? I don't want to mess up your sleeping schedule, you know… it's very important to me that you are…" She yawned. „Happy"

Sheldon smiled. „Everything's in order, Amy, don't you worry"

„Oh… oh, good" Amy took a very deep breath and then adjusted herself again.

Her naked calfs touched Sheldon's.

He swallowed. That was unexpected. And he wondered if he could even sleep like that. Usually nothing touched him. Nothing but his blanket and even that was too much of body contact for his liking sometimes.

Sheldon's eyes wandered to his girlfriend again. She looked so peaceful when she was asleep. And she looked happy.

Even if he would have never admitted it, but sometimes Sheldon was nervous around Amy. He wondered if he did everything wrong or if he managed to make her feel glad from time to time, too. But apparently he did something right tonight, even if he wasn't too sure what, because Amy was in his bed, with her arm across his chest and she smiled.

As if it was a sudden reflex of his heart, Sheldon bent forwards a little and placed his lips directly on Amy's to give her a tender good night kiss.

Then he laid his head back onto his pillow and tried to blank out the incredible fidgetty feeling on his lips.

* * *

Amy woke up and blinked a few times before she realized she was in Sheldon's bed. She sat up and stared at him in disbelief.

Then she raised the blanket a little. Both of them were still dressed. She sighed. On the one hand, she was relieved cause she really wanted to be awake when having sex with Sheldon. On the other hand… she wore that awesome lingerie and he didn't try anything? At all?

She quietly tried to put her legs out of bed but of course Sheldon realized that movement and opened his eyes. „Amy?"

„Good morning, Sheldon", she replied with an undefineable tone in her voice.

„How was your night's sleep?"

„Quite… okay"

„Just ok?"

Amy was astonished about that question. Actually Sheldon didn't care about things like that but he seemed like really occupied by the thought that Amy might not have slept too well in his bed.

„Yes, I mean… just… new" Amy struggled finding the right words.

The more she thought of it, the more she was disappointed that yet again nothing had happened between them. Nothing… no touch, no cuddling, no kisses…

„Amy, what's the matter?" It was the first time that there was something like scepticism in Sheldon's look.

Amy bit her lower lip before she answered. „The same problem as always, lately. I think I just crave physical human contact too much"

„Well" Sheldon was kind of lost. „May I offer a cuddle?"

For a moment Amy was so sure that whatever Sheldon said would be so irrelevant compared to her hurt self-esteem but just a second before getting out of bed and leaving she realized what he actually just had asked her.

„That sounds like a fair deal" She tried not to sound too surprised by his offer.

„Fine then" Sheldon stretched his left arm away to show Amy she could place her head there.

Amy carefully laid back and put her head on his arm, while she turned to him and put her right hand on this chest.

Sheldon put his left had on Amy's shoulder.

Just in that moment Sheldon's door swung open and Penny appeared. When she saw Amy and Sheldon in that position she couldn't help but squeaking „Oh my God", followed by „Sorry for disturbing" and smashing the door behind her.

Then you could hear her scream for Leonard and then some excited babbling.

„Oh boy" Sheldon rolled his eyes. „How can this woman be so overjoyed by seeing someone cuddle?"

„I guess she thinks that's not the only thing we've done"

„What do you mean?"

„Penny thinks we engaged in intercourse" Amy explained patiently.

„Oh…" Sheldon bit his lip for a moment and seemed to get lost in a deep thought, before he turned his head towards Amy. „Then maybe we should?"

Amy felt her heart skip a few beats.

But before she could even answer the door got kicked open again and now it were Penny _and_ Leonard standing in the room.

Leonard had a huge grin on his face and Penny looked ridiculously happy. „So guys, can we invite you to a breakfast?"

„What are you even doing in my room" Sheldon blurted, surprisingly to everyone. „I am spending time with Amy here!"

„I think you've spent enough time with her for now" Penny walked over to the bed. „Come on, Ames, time for a girl talk!"

„Penny…"

„Hurry up, I want details!"

* * *

Amy looked at the destroyed pancake Penny sloshed onto her plate. „So! Tell me everything!"

„Oh… well, we watched Star…"

„No, not that!" Penny tipped on the floor with her toes impatiently. „About you and Sheldon doing… you know!"

For a moment Amy thought about telling Penny the truth but her best friend seemed so happy and she didn't want to ruin that. „Oh, it was absolutely terrific!"

Another huge grin on Penny's face.

* * *

„So, Sheldon… how do you feel?" Leonard tried to start the topic a little more subtle than he knew his girlfriend would with Amy.

But of course Sheldon was immune tot hat. „I had a very nice night's sleep, I've had a good breakfast. I would say well rested and replete."

Leonard sighed. „I mean about Amy"

„Oh, well. Amy is a great neurobio…"

„Sheldon! How was the sex!"

Sheldon's mouth hung open for a second or two, then he shook his head. How could Leonard even think about that? He wasn't even halfway done with his studies about coitus, how could he possibly have had sex with Amy yet?

„But we didn't have intercourse yet"

„Oh" Penny surely was devastated. „And do you plan on doing that anytime soon?"

„I need to finish my studies on this topic, Leonard. It's a lot more complicated than you think."

Leonard lowered his eyebrows and nodded. Yeah, his best friend managed it to even find something complex about sex. Maybe it was about time to help him and accelerate his studies.

„Sit down, grab a pen and paper. I'm gonna tell you what you need to know."


	4. Chapter 4

„So you gave him a step-by-step instruction?" Howard rammed his fork into a piece of green salad before putting it into his mouth, slowly chewing, and staring back at Leonard.

He just shrugged and concentrated on his food as well. It was the only possible way to satisfy Sheldon. He wasn't good with general information when he planned to do something. He needed to know what was going to happen, otherwise he was uncomfortable.

And by now Leonard really wanted Sheldon to finally have sex. Even if it was just for the sake of seeing Penny happy.

„You know how heavy-handed Sheldon is with women in general, right?"

Leonard looked up and grinned. That coming from Howard was something that was actually hilarious.

„I mean" Howard imbibed another mouthful. „Not that Amy seems very skilled considering sexual activities but… even she might realize that Sheldon is gonna be slightly awkward."

„Hello guys" The Indian accent revealed who sat down without having to look up. „Any news?"

„Leonard gave Sheldon a step-by-step instruction for sex!" Howard blurted out in a laughter.

„Shut your ass!" Raj stared at Leonard.

He shrugged again. He didn't have any choice.

„I bet Amy has to tick a list" Howard giggled and Raj attuned.

„Stop being so mean, guys" Leonard sighed and finally looked up from his plate. „He's really trying hard for Amy. Wouldn't Bernadette appreciate it, too, if you made such a big sacrifice for her?"

„The only and biggest sacrifice I made was getting married" Howard put on a cool grin which immediately fell off, when a convoluted newspaper hit the back of his head.

Leonard and Raj looked up and found Bernadette standing there, glancing at her husband angrily.

„Talk. NOW!" Her squeaky voice made their eardrums ring.

„I'll be right back" Howard smiled apologetically and followed his wife, who rushed over the corridor.

When he was out of sight, Raj turned back. „So you think Sheldon's really gonna try it?"

„Well, he said he would invite Amy over again and… yes."

„Oh my. I really hope he doesn't screw up."

„Yeah. So do I."

* * *

Amy put her phone away and hated herself in the same time. She had told Sheldon she didn't have time to come over when he had called her and now she was struggling with the fact that she wanted to call him back and tell him her plans got cancelled and she could come.

After what had – or had not – happened yesterday, Penny told her that a clever woman would let a man wait a little though. And Amy thought that this basically was a good idea. Because even if they didn't engage in coitus, maybe if she cold-shouldered him a little, he would realize how badly her needs already were.

She helped herself to some mango juice from the fridge, before she walked over to the sofa and let herself fall down. It wasn't easy being Sheldon Lee Cooper's girlfriend. Actually it wasn't easy to be the girlfriend of _any_ guy who wasn't interested in sex.

When she had first met Sheldon, she had told him that things like coitus or touching were not even worth talking about and that seemed to have impressed him. Little did she know she would fall in love so badly, that someday all those primal needs would crawl up inside of her and slowly take over.

_Knock knock knock._

„Amy"

_Knock knock knock._

„Amy"

_Knock knock knock._

„Amy"

She turned around, her eyes widened. Then she jumped off the sofa and rushed to the door, before she cleared her throat and adjusted her skirt. She opened the door.

„Hello Amy" Sheldon smiled and handed Amy a single red rose. „I thought if you can't come to my house, then I could come to yours."

He thought about what Leonard had told him, bent forwards and placed a small tender kiss onto Amy's lips.

She felt like fainting. Her knees shuddered and the palms of her hands got sweaty. Still she managed to sound pretty calm. „Fine. Come in."

Sheldon closed the door behind himself and looked around. Then he walked over to the sofa and let himself fall on the very right spot. He looked around unobtrusively. No candles in sight. Damn. One article he could not fulfill.

Amy sat down on the very left spot and looked at Sheldon. „So… what brings you here?"

„I simply wanted to spend time with my girlfriend. Is that forbidden?"

„No, of course not"

„Well then, why don't you move a little closer, Amy Farrah Fowler?" He smiled at her.

She couldn't believe it. Was this a dream?

She realized it was not, when Sheldon put his arm around her. She was so caught in 7th heaven, that she didn't notice how her boyfriend raised an eyebrow and started thinking.

_The list_. Next step: more body contact. Right.

Without even thinking about the consequences, Sheldon moved the hand of the arm that was lying on Amy's shoulders, to her breast and touched it straightforwardly.

„Sheldon!" Amy blurted out and moved away from him. „What's wrong with you?"

She would have enjoyed the touch… if this wouldn't have been so confusing. It was like someone completely different sat on that sofa.

„That's the right way to start coitus"

„What?"

„With touching, kissing if necessary… and it's only necessary if the touches aren't enough for raising the woman's excitement level… and then well. Next articles were undressing, laying down, putting on a…"

„Wait. What articles?" Amy started to get a clue of what was happening here.

„Leonard made me a list" Sheldon replied easily.

Amy tried to catch her breath, then she just pointed at the door silently.

Sheldon looked at her confused. Only as she screamed „Leave!" he jumped up and walked out the apartment fast. „But… Amy, I thought you…"

„I wanted to make love with you only because you _want_ it, not because you want to finish a list article by article!" Amy smashed the door and Sheldon heard her sobbing.

He cringed like someone had stung him with a needle… fast and hard. He was absolutely lost, about this whole situation, about what had just happened and about what she had said. But if he knew one thing, it was that he had messed up. And that she was crying. And that he absolutely did not want her to cry. „I deeply apologize!"

No answer.

_Knock knock knock._

„Amy?"

_Knock knock knock._

„Amy…?"

_Knock knock knock._

Still no answer.

„Amy" Sheldon leaned his forehead against the closed door.

* * *

„…and then I simply named the articles" Sheldon was completely lost. His worldview got crashed like a single ant by a big shoe, with the reaction Amy gave him.

„You mentioned the list? Ohhhh, Sheldon!" Leonard tossed his head back and put his hands on his face.

„Well, sorry" Sheldon replied in a high pitched voice. „I thought I should possibly let her know, so she could arrange with the situation!"

„Sex is not something you do by a list!"

„But you made me one"

„Yes, for _you. You_ are someone that would need a list for sex. You are the _only_ one that needs a list for sex!" Leonard couldn't believe Sheldon had messed up so badly. No matter how much of a genius he was besides this girlfriend thing; with Amy he did anything that possibly could go wrong, wrong.

„She cried"

Leonard looked at Sheldon and recognized the deeply sad look on his face. It seemed to really get to him that he had hurt her so bad. Leonard sighed and sat down next to him, before he put a hand on his shoulder to show him he was there. Even if Sheldon was clumsy when it came to feelings; if you knew him, it wasn't hard to tell that he was head over heels for Amy.

„Listen, maybe you should just visit her again and explain that you didn't mean it like that"

„But what am I supposed to say?"

„Sheldon…"

„Leonard, I might be the greatest theoretical physicist of all time but… I am not very experienced when it comes to women and their feelings" Sheldon looked down at his hands, which were placed on his lap. It was hard for him to admit things like that but maybe that would show Leonard how badly he needed his help with this.

„Alright. Penny is over at Amy's house. I will text her and tell her to prepare Amy for your visit. Then you'll just go there and apologize to her and tell her you didn't mean it like that. And maybe you should tell her what you feel."

„What do you mean by ‚what I feel'?" Sheldon looked up.

Leonard just raised his eyebrows and walked to the kitchen counter to get his phone. Sheldon sighed.

* * *

Penny bit her lip when she read the text message. Then she let her phone slip back into her pocket.

„Who was it?"

„Oh, just Leonard"

„Another _boyfriend_" Amy spit the word out, like it was a fly that had gotten caught between her teeth.

Penny swallowed and proceeded to brush Amy's hair. As she had heard the news from Leonard, she had rushed over to her bestie, to give her a girly day. Manicure, pedicure, cucumber face masque, make-up and some hair curling.

„Oh Sweety, come on. I'm sure Sheldon didn't have any bad intentions!"

„Pah!" Amy's lips were surrounded by a sarcastic smile.

„Come on, he just didn't want to make a mistake"

„So you're siding with him?" Amy pulled her eyebrows down.

„No, I'm just trying to… uhm… see it from his perspective a little"

„Oh… well"

Penny blew a strand of hair out of her face. Sheldon was apparently not the best topic right now. Most of all not, when he would be there in about ten minutes.

Amy grabbed her glass of champagne and took a sip.

„How is the monkey study going?" Penny asked casually, while making the fourth curl in Amy's long brown hair.

„Pretty well. They can live with one cigarette per day now. Though they still sometimes try to throw their excrements around…"

Penny was happy Amy couldn't see the disgusted expression on her face. „Mhmm…"

„Ricky is pretty agressive though"

„Well, I can imagine. Wasn't he the one who smoked the most?"

„Oh yeah" A deepish laughter came out of Amy's mouth. „His ammount of smoking was insane!"

_Knock knock knock._

„Oh perfect timing!" Penny chirped while ripping the curling iron plug out of the outlet.

_„Amy"_

„We're done!" Penny slowly packed everything into the bag she brought with her.

„Penny…" Amy's dark look changed from her best friend to the door.

_Knock knock knock._

„Do you happen to know anything about_ that_?" Amy furiously pointed at the door.

_„Amy"_

Penny just shrugged and let a look of total lack of knowledge run across her face.

_Knock knock knock._

She quickly grabbed her bag, kissed Amy on the cheek and hurried to the door. „I gotta go. Love you, bestie!"

_„Amy"_

Penny opened the door. Sheldon was in front of it. Penny gave him a look that said ‚good luck' and walked past him. He walked in and closed the door.

Amy was still sitting on her chair, staring angrily at her boyfriend.

„Hello Amy…"

„What do you want here?" She replied grumpily.

„Amy" He let his shoulders fall and walked over to her. „I really didn't mean to make you feel bad or… deceive or… defile you"

Her look softened hardly noticeable. Sheldon rested his eyes on her. She looked pretty. There was some make-up on her face. She had amazing green eyes. And he had never realized that her hair was that long and shiny.

„Sheldon" She sighed and examined his face. „Why do you have to do stuff like that?"

„Well, because" He hum'd and haw'd a little.

„Because what?"

„Because I was insecure. And I still am. I have never felt like that before in the presence of another person."

„Felt like _what_?"

Sheldon bit his lip because he felt Amy getting impatient again. „Well…"

„What, Sheldon?"

„I have never felt something close to that before with someone else than my Meemaw but… I think I might love you, Amy Farrah Fowler."

His eyes widened as he saw tears flashing in her eyes again. „I am sorry, I didn't mean to…!"

Amy got up and wrapped her arms around Sheldon's middle.

He was quite surprised by that action but then recalled that some people also cried sometimes when they were happy – even if that was the most incomprehensible reaction to happiness he could possibly think of.

He also put his arms around her and closed his eyes for a moment just to realize her hair smelt like roses. Then he suddenly sensed that he could also feel it under his fingertips. It was soft and smooth and felt like silk.

Before he even got the chance to open his eyes, he felt something soft and warm on his lips. He didn't back away, he just opened his eyes for a second. Amy was so close to him that she appeared blurry.

She was kissing him.

* * *

With every further second this kiss lasted, Sheldon's thoughts got erased. It felt like his brain got lighter and lighter and nothing bothered him anymore. There was nothing but complete emptiness around him. But a good kind of emptiness. Not the one when he was nervous in a speech and it seemed like he had forgotten everything.

His knowledge was there… but it had yielded for feelings. And it seemed like they were taking over.

Only led by his intentions, Sheldon took Amy's face in his hands and opened his lips just to let his tongue slide along hers.

He heard his deeper thoughts scream in the background. Possibly something about the list. But he ignored them so passionately, that he didn't even have time to think about it.

As they broke apart Amy looked into Sheldon's eyes for a second. She was out of breathe. He stared right back and as he realized her eyes had gotten a way deeper tone of green and her lips were slightly swollen, he smiled.

He took her hands and lead her to the bedroom, while incriminating her into another breathtaking kiss.

When they finally arrived in the bedroom, Sheldon closed the door with his foot and pushed Amy towards the bed. Just a tad before being in danger of falling down onto the red sheets, he stopped and his hands wandered away from hers, onto her stomach and up. This time she didn't break away from him. He even thought he had heard a little moan.

Leaning forehead to forehead, Sheldon's long fingers opened the buttons of her blouse, till the very last one. Then he wiped it back over her shoulders and it hit the floor with a quiet sound.

Sheldon had always thought that Amy was an attractive woman – otherwise she wouldn't have been his girlfriend – but that black bra, that he had just exposed, was not only attractive. It was tempting.

Suddenly everything was easy, as if he had never done anything else.

His lips found the way to Amy's neck. The smell of her hair almost made him go insane. The lower part of his body pressed against her, giving her a clear sign, that he was ready.

Amy gasped as she felt the evidence of him finding her attractive and desirable.

His belt jingled, as Amy opened it.

Sheldon was still occupied with her neck, but his fingers wandered across her back and slightly scratched it here and there.

Then he guided them down and pulled the zipper of her skirt down. It sank to the floor immediately, followed by his pants.

Amy moved her hands under Sheldon's shirt and raised it and he let go of her neck involuntarily, as she pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor.

Their eyes met and Sheldon smiled. He took off Amy's glasses and carefully put them on a chair nearby.

Amy and him were both breathing heavily, as his hands wandered onto her back again and started playing around with the hook of her bra. This time he was handier. He opened it and Amy let the straps slide down her arms. Then the bra landed on the floor.

Sheldon swallowed as his look slided down from her face right to the spot, he had just set free.

Amy felt her chance and pulled down his boxers, which also fell down to the pile of all the other clothes.

Sheldon took a deep breath and then gently placed Amy on the bed, laying down on her. Then he kissed his way down till he was stopped by her panties. He raised again and pulled it down with one simple but fast movement.

Amy's toes squirmed. She was nervous. Even if he had already seen her like that before. This was a whole new situation.

Sheldon came back up to her and put his lips back onto hers. This time she moaned louder and clearer when his tongue got in a fight with hers.

Her hand wandered down his back, deeper, along his side and between her and him…

Sheldon broke away from her, trembled and moaned. A few moments later he opened his eyes and looked at her.

„Amy… I'm so sorry"

She just smiled. She was so proud and happy about the effect she had on Sheldon, that she wasn't even angry about not having had real sex with him.

„It's okay" She raised her head to give him a short kiss on the lips.

„No… I mean… you…"

„It's okay, Sheldon, really" She laid her head back and looked up at him with a smile.

Sheldon thought for a moment, then he slid back down. Amy looked at him quizzically.

„I remember I read something about a Grafenberg spot. And it shouldn't be hard to locate!"

Amy opened her mouth to reply something but the only thing that came out was a loud moan, after Sheldon already actively started trying to find that spot.

He looked up and realized how much he actually liked what he was doing. And he wondered why he hadn't tried that earlier.

He proceeded a few more minutes, then Amy's whole body shuddered and relaxed. Sheldon smiled.

* * *

„Do you think we should tell anyone about it?" Amy bit her lower lip and looked over at Sheldon.

He was lying on the pillow, arms under his head. „Maybe not for now…"

„You know it's going to be hard to not tell Penny though" The young woman sighed and stared back at the ceiling.

„Would she believe you though if you said you engaged in coitus with me?"

„Probably not"

They both grinned.

After a while Sheldon arose. „So, Amy Farrah Fowler. Are you up for some French toast?"

„Always"

Sheldon stretched his hand towards here and Amy smiled at him before she took it and went out of the bedroom with him.

* * *

_**The End.**_

_**I really hope you enjoyed it.**_

_**I am already working on my next fanfic. I really cherish it when you give me feedback in the comments :) it keeps me writing.**_  
_**Sorry if there are many mistakes. English is not my native language and Big Bang Theory is extremely hard to write in a foreign language.**_

_**Stay tuned for the next Shamy fanfic :)**_

_**Good night, guys.**_


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